It's almost 3am, and I leave for Guatemala in 27 hours. Nursing III finals wrapped up on Thursday, and since then, I have been dashing about trying to get ready to leave for the longest trip I've ever taken.
Meanwhile, Nashville is recovering from a 100 or 500 or 1000 year flood.
In the days following Katrina, like so many others, I got to work volunteering in any way I could. And that's when I found out from the Red Cross that the people who were being deployed to the Gulf had all kinds of fancy disaster training. I thought, I wanna be ready next time. So I signed up for the training and in the months that followed became a member of the Red Cross's national Disaster Services Human Resources team and the local Disaster Action Team. In the 5 years since Katrina, I've been asked to activate, but have never been able to secure the time off work in order to deploy.
And then the flood happened in the city I love. The city that's been home to me for as long as I can remember. And I have the fancy training now, and the kickass disaster vest. And I'm leaving.
I've spent the past several days on the verge of tears. It takes hardly anything to set me off. I know I'm exhausted from the end of the semester and am fried from trying to get out of town. But I'm also aching at how much was lost here, and I'm sad that so much remains to be done and I will not be here to do it.
It sounds a little arrogant to say that. But my saying that has nothing to do with any kind of confidence in my own ability. Rather, it comes from the confidence I have in the people I know. The ones who have slept very little since the storm and who will continue their tireless work until it is finished. I want to spend the summer beside these people, giving my time to the place that I love.
I'm trying to remind myself that there is work to be done all over the world, and I am privileged to be able to give of my time in Central America this summer. But a part of me still feels guilty and indulgent, leaving now.
There will be work to do here still when you return, and you will have Spanish under your belt.
ReplyDeleteFret not...
Truth! Thanks for perspective, as always :)
ReplyDeleteNashville will survive. When the crap hit the fan, did you see any looting, riots or just general mayhem? No, people went about trying to pick up the peices. Because the city acted civilized, we did not get the press that other disasters get and not as much help, but you can't keep a good city down!
ReplyDelete